Westwood CA @ 3:45 am

It is a rare peaceful moment in the metropolis. As the city sleeps, I cannot.

Cathy was also awake when I arrived at her ICU room @ 3:45 this morning. I believe we are both anticipating another attempt at turning down the ventilator.

On my walk to the hospital this morning I was recalling a moment almost four years ago when the doctors turned off the ventilator just after Cathy's transplant. At that time I was very inexperienced with all these miracle procedures that the doctors employ, so I don't know, they may have attempted turning it off before I saw it, but I didn't notice. I remembered the exhilaration I felt as I watched Cathy breath freely for the first time in years. This morning I realized that I was looking for that same exhilaration the past two days as the doctors were again attempting to ween Cathy off the ventilator. I must get off that roller coaster. Today they will again turn down the ventilator. Today we will pray only for an improvement.....11 minutes?.... and be exhilarated when it happens.

The doctors, nurses, and respiratory therapists are all about the numbers and raw data....blood pressure, blood oxygen saturation, blood CO2 concentration, potassium, calcium, temperature, and on and on and on...... As of yesterday, the majority of the "raw data" for Cathy was "in-line with Cathy's baseline". That's doctor's speak for normal for Cathy. There is one number that they say still must improve. On the monitors it is displayed as "CVP2". It has something to do with the pressures somewhere deep inside Cathy. I believe it is a pressure reading from a vein in or around her heart (they have a tube entering from the side of her neck that I believe leads to her heart, or close to it). On Friday this number was in the high 40's, yesterday it was in the teens, this morning it was floating between 8 and 10. I was told that this number should be below 6. That's a steep curve.

Well, I need to find some coffee before I head back in to see Cathy. In the old UCLA hospital I knew all the nurse's stations and waiting rooms where you could find a late-night cup of joe. I haven't found any yet in the new hospital. There isn't even any vending machine coffee to be had. I think I'll take another peaceful stroll through Westwood and find a cup of coffee.... before the city awakes.

David